


We're All Anons Here

by astrivikia



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Basically Cisco finds a tumblr advice blog for metas, Coming to terms with powers, Gen, Nightmares, Tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-10
Updated: 2017-03-10
Packaged: 2018-10-02 08:12:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10213292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrivikia/pseuds/astrivikia
Summary: Cisco finds an advice blog for metas on tumblr.  And maybe he could use some advice.





	

Cisco could feel his focus slipping as he scrolled idly through the meta tag, skimming the newest posts halfheartedly. It might be a bit of an unconventional research tactic; the tag was filled with a ton of rumors and speculation, not to mention most of it was unverifiable, but occasionally he found something useful. It wasn't until he realized he'd been scrolling for a reasonably long time and was still on the same post that he came back to himself, forehead scrunching slightly. Usually he just encountered short potential witness accounts. Curiosity getting the better of him, he found himself scrolling back up to the top of the post, an anon ask on a blog called metasanonymous.

 

So I've watched your blog for a while now, but I've only just gotten up the nerve to message. I've known about my powers for a while, at first it was a bit overwhelming and I didn't really understand what I was seeing. I've been trying to keep it to myself, people would just think I'm crazy, but I can see emotional connections between people. It's wearing me down, there's so many unrequited feelings, or people who think they're really good friends but the other person is only tolerating them, the unhealthy and toxic ones, it's like a parasite stretching between them. It's just so hard to know so much.

> Hi anon, I can only imagine how hard that must be to deal with. As we have definitely come to understand, every metas struggles are different, and just because your powers don't manifest in a way that physically inhibits you doesn't mean they are any less of a struggle. Still maybe you can see this as an opportunity to help others. Seeing what other people feel so plainly will obviously take some getting used to, but in the long run it will probably positively impact your relationships. And you may be able to help nudge people to the people who will do right by them.
> 
> I hope everything works out for you, but we will always be willing to listen if you need it.
> 
>      -Mod Spark

Curiosity piqued, he clicked open the blog in a new tab. There were tons of asks, metas talking about their powers, of being afraid of them. Tons of people afraid that if they told anyone about them they'd be turned on, or suspected of becoming dangerous. Which, Given how many metas had become supervillains he didn't blame them for.

 

It made the guilt he tried to suppress come back in full force, especially the further he scrolled. It looked like there were a lot of metas who just wanted things to go back to normal. He wasn't sure how long he scrolled through it, but somewhere along the way he clicked the follow button. He didn't tell the team.

* * *

“ _Forgive Me.”_

Cisco jolted awake, hand jerking defensively toward his chest as he gasped in a breath. The horrible whirring sound of a vibrating hand was still reverberating in his head. Swallowing hard, he tried to steady his breathing. He rolled over, propping himself up on his elbow and brushing his hair back from his face. Nights like these he wondered if he'd every really left that room; it felt like a part of him really had died there. He felt blindly around his bedside table for his phone, hoping that mindlessly browsing the internet might help calm him down. It was more muscle memory than a conscious thought as he clicked open the app, the familiar muted blue tone lighting up his screen. His finger slid slowly down the page, hardly focusing on the posts as he went. Science article, cute puppy, researcher venting about being stuck on their work, star wars gifs. Unwanted memories still floated at the back of his mind, the hair raising sensation of being circled like prey still lingering. His finger pressed a bit harder against the screen, scrolling further down his dashboard. He stilled when a familiar icon came up on the screen.

 

> Hi guys! Mod Spark here. I'm going to be on for a few hours tonight if anyone needs to talk! Our inbox is always open.

 

He should keep scrolling, he was going to keep- He stared at the post for a long moment. Maybe it would help. It wasn't like the others were going to find it, the only one that might even follow this blog was Iris, and he hadn't told her about what happened with Dr. Wells. Even if any of them found the blog, if he was careful there was no way they'd know it was him....

Clicking onto the blog, he opened the ask page, nervousness swirling inside of him as he tried to force his thoughts into some semblance of order. His eyes flicked to the bottom of the page, clicking the ask to anonymous. How do you even start to talk about remembering being murdered in an erased time line? Typing was a slow process, this really would have been easier on a computer but he was afraid he'd lose the nerve if he moved to grab his laptop. It wasn't just articulating everything that was a struggle, it was also his phone's auto correct. But eventually he got an ask together that seemed to get across what he wanted. He checked that it actually was set to anonymous for the millionth time before clicking send.

Anxiety twisted his insides, which generally accompanied sending an ask to anyone new. Except it was worse this time, this was personal, this was so personal. He breathed in slowly through his nose, eyes fluttering shut as he attempted to quiet the tangle of thoughts and feelings inside of him. This wasn't a mistake right? He let his eyes open again as he breathed out, clicking back to his dash to distract himself. Otherwise he knew he'd be laying there refreshing the blog until his ask was answered. It didn't end up stopping him for very long, but it wasn't actually his fault.

 

_**Unfortunately Tumblr has stopped working. Close App?** _

 

He groaned softly to himself, dropping the phone onto his mattress for a moment. He could see the thin edges of light lining it, even with the screen against the sheet. Really, he should be used to the app doing this by now, but it was still annoying. Flicking it back over, he tiredly pressed the ok button. His phone went back to it's home screen, and he stared at it for a moment, feeling the oppressive tiredness weighing on his mind. But if he closed his eyes he'd be there again, and he'd lived that more than anyone should ever have to.

He flicked the app back open, barely even processing most of the posts he scrolled past. The app crashed a second time before he got a response to his ask. He stilled for a moment when he saw the icon, a bit wary about reading the reply. 

 

I've been having nightmares of dying at the hands of a speedster for months now. Except I learned shortly after they started they're actually memories of an alternate timeline. Which sounds out there, but on this blog I think you'll understand. I'm just so tired of remembering a death that no longer happened, and I'm terrified of what else I might see.

> Hi anon, that sounds terrible, and I'm really sorry you're dealing with that. When it comes to meta abilities there's never guarantees that medicine will help it, but I would suggest taking something to help you sleep. Maybe listening to something as you go to bed might help too, such as a nature sounds recording or ASMR. I know you said these visions manifest as nightmares, but I'd also suggest monitoring it to see if there are any common factors that trigger your powers, things you might be able to avoid or minimize.
> 
> Just talking about it might also help you move past it, since looking at it beyond powers, this was a traumatic event. I know it can be hard to find someone you _can_ talk to about it, but it would definitely be worthwhile. You can even message us if you'd like to talk more in depth. If you want the anonymity, creating a sideblog to message us from is a good way to do that.
> 
> Hopefully this helped a bit! Our ask box is always open.
> 
> -Mod Spark

 

There was a part of him that felt relieved to have the reply, that at least he'd been able to tell someone. He didn't hit the like button, never be the first note on your own anon ask. Instead he flipped open his note app, deciding to take their advice and write down some things about the conditions surrounding the nightmare. That was familiar, that was scientific.


End file.
